My Dirty Little Secret

So ... I realize what a horrible blogger I've been. I can blame it on this city that makes me lazy or the fact that I opened my show last night (more on that later), but really it's my own fault and lack of discipline. I started this blog as a way to keep myself accountable to doing something every day for my career and in interest of full disclosure and accountability, I'm going to use this post as a confessional.

I'm lazy. There I said it.

And I'm easily distracted.

And I have an addiction to Facebook. Specifically a FB game.

A lot of people joke that they are addicted to this FB or to the stupid games that are on there, but when I say I'm addicted, I mean it. I created a whole other FB account just to play more of this game. And then I created another. And another. That's right folks. I have four FB accounts just to play this one game. I'm well aware how sad and pathetic this makes me sound, but I told you, I'm in confession mode.

Now, if you are on the FB, you know how much time one account can suck up your time. Multiply it by 4 and then some. I probably spend 2-3 hours a day playing this fucking game. I'm obsessed. I can't stop. I'm completely aware of how unproductive this is and that it is taking time away from things I should be doing, like working out, packing for NYC, reading plays, practicing my voice lesson, but I can't seem to stop.

I was in a workshop once where the leader said, "If you want to work on your art, work on your life." She totally paraphrased that from someone else and made no bones about it, but the quote has stuck with me ever since. I'm pretty sure this game is an area of my life I need to work on and by work on, I mean, get rid of.

I have told myself that once I reach a certain level, I will quit, but it seems that level was too high and it might still be weeks before I reach it. But I don't want to quit before I've reached my goal. And that's the thing! It's a completely imaginary goal, because it's just a game. It's not real life for heaven's sake.

I cannot believe that I am actually debating with myself about a stupid computer game, but I know that if I don't remove this ridiculous and unnecessary obsession from my life, I won't be able to achieve anything I really want to achieve.

Of all the addictions out there, I realize a silly facebook game is not the worst, but it's time to get serious. NYC is only 17 days away and if I'm going to make the most of my time there, I can't be locked in my room playing games for hours and hours. It's time to make a change.

Daily Activities for My Career:
It's been 11 days since I've posted, folks. I've worked out a few times, and opened a show. I've fallen off the wagon, but I will climb back on. I promise.