So ... I love this city. I love its energy, its people, its opportunity. I have been meeting people, making business relationships, and going on auditions. The city makes me incredibly tired though. All of the walking and carry the day's necessities on my back has started to take its toll on my lower back and hips. I am exhausted by the end of the day, but I sleep like a baby. I feel so at home.
However, today I went to an open chorus call for a Broadway show and completely freaked out. I was #151 and knew that I wouldn't be seen for another 3.5 hours so I decided instead of changing into my auditions dress, I would just sit and watch the other ladies. And this is when I the Vampire of Self-Doubt starts talking to me. They are all so much more prepared and put together than I am. Hair curled, show-period appropriate dresses, skinny buff bods and looking every bit the Broadway chorus gals that I am not. So I left. And didn't go back. I knew that if I had stayed I would not have done well and would have felt horrible about myself.
And the thing is, I felt smooshy for about an hour, but then I felt great that I didn't stay. Because I got a lot of life stuff accomplished this afternoon and actually learned what I needed to about where the bar is set at these auditions. Tomorrow I will know. Tomorrow I will stay and blow those skinny bitches out of the water.
Daily Activities for My Career:
Last Tuesday - Met with a coach/manager
Wednesday - Submitted headshots and resumes
Thursday - Went to the Equity building and picked up my card so I could audition
Friday - First NYC audition as an Equity member! Go team
Saturday - Supported my friends by going to see two shows (one out in Brooklyn, the other out in Queens. I'm a great friend)
Sunday - "Brief Encounter" matinee and was completely inspired and reminded of the reason I do theatre.
Today - One great audition, one attempt audition that resulted in valuable info for the future
However, today I went to an open chorus call for a Broadway show and completely freaked out. I was #151 and knew that I wouldn't be seen for another 3.5 hours so I decided instead of changing into my auditions dress, I would just sit and watch the other ladies. And this is when I the Vampire of Self-Doubt starts talking to me. They are all so much more prepared and put together than I am. Hair curled, show-period appropriate dresses, skinny buff bods and looking every bit the Broadway chorus gals that I am not. So I left. And didn't go back. I knew that if I had stayed I would not have done well and would have felt horrible about myself.
And the thing is, I felt smooshy for about an hour, but then I felt great that I didn't stay. Because I got a lot of life stuff accomplished this afternoon and actually learned what I needed to about where the bar is set at these auditions. Tomorrow I will know. Tomorrow I will stay and blow those skinny bitches out of the water.
Daily Activities for My Career:
Last Tuesday - Met with a coach/manager
Wednesday - Submitted headshots and resumes
Thursday - Went to the Equity building and picked up my card so I could audition
Friday - First NYC audition as an Equity member! Go team
Saturday - Supported my friends by going to see two shows (one out in Brooklyn, the other out in Queens. I'm a great friend)
Sunday - "Brief Encounter" matinee and was completely inspired and reminded of the reason I do theatre.
Today - One great audition, one attempt audition that resulted in valuable info for the future
We've all been there. Don't let it get ya down. As you said, you will go back tomorrow (or the next day) more prepared, feeling better and will kick their asses! I love you!!!
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